


Headaches and Hedonism

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Humor, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:52:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They may have gotten a little out of control the night before. The pig-napping was definetely a step too far</p>
            </blockquote>





	Headaches and Hedonism

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** I read an amazing post on tumblr that theorized - had Loki not descended into madeness and become a killer - he and Tony would have made amazing best buds ([The post](http://devildoll.tumblr.com/post/32152646500/shirodemon-nooby-banana-re))

The thunder that echoed through Tony's pounding head, rattling his thoughts – scattered as they already were – inside his skull, had a remarkably coherent sounding voice to it. It took him only a second to realize that Thor was calling out his name. And Loki's. Something about waking up.

"Go. Away. Thor." The usually smooth voice sounded both slurred, and much closer than Tony would have imagined. Forcing himself to crack open his eyes against the brutal sunlight streaming over his face, Tony looked down to see Loki Odinson, god of mischief, laid sprawled over his body, head resting against the arc reactor and a look of pure and honest indignant fury at being woken up maring his brow. Tony didn't know why they were snuggling in what seemed to be the living room, but he didn't care. No number of answered questions were worth the pain in his eyes when he tried to keep them open.

"What did the two of you do this time?" He heard someone ask who, through the din of screeching pain that was his hangover, sounded like Steve.

When Tony's attempt at an answer came out sounding like the sound an unhealthy lawnmower makes, Loki – bless his soul – answered for him, "Many things that I'm sure were wonderful and terrible both, but are slipping my mind right now." A pause, "Along with any reason _not_ to tear your _mortal_ head off for waking me."

Thor made a disaproving sound at Loki's threat while Steve huffed in annoyance. "Then why did I get a particularly terse phone call from a particularly angry Ms Potts asking, and I quote, "Why did they break into the petting zoo and what did they do with that baby pig?""

"Wha?" Tony slurred, finally pushing himself up slightly and almost knocking an increasingly angry Loki onto the floor. At least Tony knew he wouldn't kill _him._

'The rest of them could suck it for disturbing us.'

Forcing his eyes open again, Tony took in the blury but stern faces of Thor and Steve hovering over them.

"The piglet Tony, where is it?" Steve asked, his arms folded over his chest.

"I dunno." Tony said, scrubbing a hand over his face and praying the phantom taste of pork ribs in his mouth didn't mean what he thought it meant. "God I hope we didn't eat it." He murmered under his breath to himself and maybe Loki, completely forgetting that Norse Gods of Lightning and Super Soldiers alike tended to have an enhanced sense of hearing.

"What?!" Steve roared, horror in his eyes. "Tony it was a baby. It was a _pet!_ "

Before Tony could pipe up in defence, even as he felt his stomach roll, Loki cut it with a tone that showed just how tired of this bullshit he was, "For Odin's sake, we didn't eat the pig." Sitting up, still sprawled over Tony's legs, Loki sent vicious death glares to each of them.

" Tony purchased pork ribs from a drive thru, began crying because he realized that an innocent swine had been killed to grant him the feast and insisted we free the pig from the petting zoo we had visited before it could be made into food. I, in my intoxicated state, assisted him." Making a few attempts at standing, before finally – if shakily – getting solid footing on the ground, Loki finished, "You will find the pig in the penthouse suite of the hotel of Hilton enjoying the vast buffet of salads Tony ordered him. If you'll excuse me, I need to go hide somewhere dark and completely devoid of .. _you people."_

As he watched the god stumble away with a hand to his head, he let himself feel proud for managing to create an alcoholic concoction so potent, it could get Loki as drunk as Tequila got him. Of course that passed slightly when he heard retching from around the corner, replaced with a deep sense of loss thinking about his imported rug.

Looking one more time up at the still stern but slightly confussed faces of Thor and Steve, Tony found he couldn't muster up any regret. Pignapping and vomiting aside, it was a hell of a night.

Giant smile on his face, Tony declared, only half kidding, "Thor, I might need permission to marry your brother."

**Author's Note:**

>  **A/N:** My first FrostIron XD


End file.
